Gym etiquette rules you won't see anywhere but here

If you belong to a gym, you know that most of them post safety and etiquette rules like "Please re-rack weights after use," or "Use a spotter for all heavy lifting." The standard rules, for the most part, are good ones and make lots of sense. Sometimes, though, the rules that posted are maybe those that should have been posted first.

I've been going to my gym for 15 years and and I've seen all of the following violated. Perhaps that has happened because no one bothered telling my fellow gym members the rules. So I'll post the rules here so everyone is on notice:

• In the community shower (no stalls), do not shave or otherwise groom your nether regions. Please perform all personal hygiene of that nature at home.
• Do not give yourself a haircut over one of the lockerroom sinks. If you must cut all your hair in the lockerroom, please remove all of it from the sink, floor or from wherever it falls.
• Do not flatuate, either audibly or silently, near someone while he or she is lifting weights.
• Listen to your own music through headphones, not through speakers attached to your CD or MP3 player.
• Benches are not tables or storage areas for towels, purses, MP3 players, cell phones, water or drink bottles, membership cards or any other personal items. Do not make your fellow members ask you to remove your personal belongings from benches or other equipment so same can be used for intended purposes.
  
• Do not ogle or stare at nude fellow club members.
• Do not ask fellow club members what types of lotions, powders or creams they use on their bodies.
• Do not talk incessantly to strangers, especially about your workout regimen, what music you like, or what you think of the President's health care plan.

I hope this list helps.

Random stuff I don't understand (Part 1)

Braille at drive-up ATMs -- Drive-up ATMs are always situated so that the driver's side of the vehicle has access to the screen and keypad. So why do they almost always have information on them in Braille? If a person is so vision impaired that he or she must read in Braille, what is he or she doing driving? Walk-up ATMs are a different story, altogether.

Handicapped parking spots at a fitness center -- I know, I know. At least in our state, all public places that have parking must allot a specific number of spots for handicapped parking. For nearly every public place out there, that law makes sense. We want disabled people to have easy access to public places. But that makes little or no sense at a gym.

The gym to which I belong has has 4 handicapped spots in front of and to each side of the front door. There is no elevator inside the building but it is a two story facility. If you want to use the second floor, you have to be able to get up the steps. Otherwise you're stuck either using treadmills and stairclimbers, weights or the swimming pool.

Whatever the case may be, if you are in the gym it is to exercise. If you can exert yourself enough to get into the pool or up the stairs, you can walk or wheel yourself from anywhere in the parking lot. If you can't move an extra 50 feet is there anything you can do in the gym? I'm not blasting handicapped folks or begrudging them a good parking spot, just wondering what the point is in parking right next to the door of a fitness center.

There will be more brilliant observations from me *wink* as I make them.