"Real men" don't use duct tape

For the last few days, I've noticed my favorite local sports talk station running commercials for some sort of "real man" contest that involves duct tape. Duct tape?

I'm not so stiff that I don't recognize it's all in good fun. I also have noticed that people are serious about using duct tape to fix stuff on their car or around their house. That's kind of the guy's thing right now: "I can fix anything with a roll of duct tape."

Fellas, duct tape is for duct work. It's not for keeping your mirror on your car, for the handle of your hockey stick, or for repairing a torn window screen. A "real man" would only use that stuff in a pinch and only temporarily.

When I was in college, I had my car window smashed in early spring. I had to drive home 80 miles without a window, so I had to use duct tape and visqueen to cover the hole. That "fix" held me over for about a week until I could get a replacement window. Then I took part my car door and dropped in the glass myself. After putting the door back together the window was like new. If I could fix a car window for about $50 and maybe 2 hours of work, any "real man" could. If you guys are driving around with duct tape and plastic for a car window, you need to turn in your man card.

My dad fixed stuff all the time. He made permanent fixes. Duct tape was never involved. Learn to fix stuff. . . the right way. That's what a "real man" would do.