How is it that...

Spider-Man can stick to walls if he wears gloves and shoes? Wouldn't his spider-sticky skin need to make contact with the wall to stay on it?

Gym etiquette rules you won't see anywhere but here

If you belong to a gym, you know that most of them post safety and etiquette rules like "Please re-rack weights after use," or "Use a spotter for all heavy lifting." The standard rules, for the most part, are good ones and make lots of sense. Sometimes, though, the rules that posted are maybe those that should have been posted first.

I've been going to my gym for 15 years and and I've seen all of the following violated. Perhaps that has happened because no one bothered telling my fellow gym members the rules. So I'll post the rules here so everyone is on notice:

• In the community shower (no stalls), do not shave or otherwise groom your nether regions. Please perform all personal hygiene of that nature at home.
• Do not give yourself a haircut over one of the lockerroom sinks. If you must cut all your hair in the lockerroom, please remove all of it from the sink, floor or from wherever it falls.
• Do not flatuate, either audibly or silently, near someone while he or she is lifting weights.
• Listen to your own music through headphones, not through speakers attached to your CD or MP3 player.
• Benches are not tables or storage areas for towels, purses, MP3 players, cell phones, water or drink bottles, membership cards or any other personal items. Do not make your fellow members ask you to remove your personal belongings from benches or other equipment so same can be used for intended purposes.
  
• Do not ogle or stare at nude fellow club members.
• Do not ask fellow club members what types of lotions, powders or creams they use on their bodies.
• Do not talk incessantly to strangers, especially about your workout regimen, what music you like, or what you think of the President's health care plan.

I hope this list helps.

Football's back! But...

I'm having a hard time getting excited about it. Five years ago, I lived for college football, mostly for Michigan State football. I loved spending entire Saturdays -- or as much of those days as I could manage -- watching games from all over the country. The turning point for me came when MSU's coach was John L. Smith and his teams only managed four (4) wins a few seasons in a row. Some might say I jumped off the bandwagon. I never stopped loving MSU football, but when they bottomed out it was a wake-up call for me that there are more important (and entertaining) things in life than college football.

The last few years I've tried to carve out enough time each fall Saturday to watch the Spartans. I make no time for other games, even ones that would be great to watch. Family and other personal time is more fun when it's balanced with a little football, and vice versa.

Yesterday I watched the Spartans trounce lowly Montana State, 44-3, in the season opener in East Lansing. The game, quite frankly, was boring. When there is nothing at stake, it's simply harder to enjoy the game. I don't regret spending 3 hours and $25 to watch the game at a local watering hole, but I don't think I would have been heartbroken to have missed the game, either.

This fall I'm actually more excited about the Beatles remastered CDs than I am football. Surely that will wear off once I actually get my box set from amazon.com. For now, though, hearing that great music remixed and remastered is all I can think about (in terms of entertainment.) It's hard to focus on much else. Next week can't come soon enough.