Gym etiquette rules you won't see anywhere but here

If you belong to a gym, you know that most of them post safety and etiquette rules like "Please re-rack weights after use," or "Use a spotter for all heavy lifting." The standard rules, for the most part, are good ones and make lots of sense. Sometimes, though, the rules that posted are maybe those that should have been posted first.

I've been going to my gym for 15 years and and I've seen all of the following violated. Perhaps that has happened because no one bothered telling my fellow gym members the rules. So I'll post the rules here so everyone is on notice:

• In the community shower (no stalls), do not shave or otherwise groom your nether regions. Please perform all personal hygiene of that nature at home.
• Do not give yourself a haircut over one of the lockerroom sinks. If you must cut all your hair in the lockerroom, please remove all of it from the sink, floor or from wherever it falls.
• Do not flatuate, either audibly or silently, near someone while he or she is lifting weights.
• Listen to your own music through headphones, not through speakers attached to your CD or MP3 player.
• Benches are not tables or storage areas for towels, purses, MP3 players, cell phones, water or drink bottles, membership cards or any other personal items. Do not make your fellow members ask you to remove your personal belongings from benches or other equipment so same can be used for intended purposes.
  
• Do not ogle or stare at nude fellow club members.
• Do not ask fellow club members what types of lotions, powders or creams they use on their bodies.
• Do not talk incessantly to strangers, especially about your workout regimen, what music you like, or what you think of the President's health care plan.

I hope this list helps.